Valentines Detour
by toffeco
Summary: Its Valentines day and Kermit's taking miss piggy somewhere last minute. A show, dinner and of course spending night in a five-star hotel. Coincidencely Fozzie Bear, Rowlf the dog and Annie sue are going to the same five-star hotel as the couple. A last a list of tragedies leads them and their friends to a mysterious hotel. Desperate, they stay for the night. Is that a good choice?
1. Chapter 1

The cloying scent of chocolate and sweet fruit filled the house. Two familiar but different figures sat on the long black L shaped couch. On the coffee table in the middle of the living area was a tall bottle of red wine, two wine glasses, and a box of chocolate covered fruits. Miss Piggy laid her head on her frog's chest eating the delectable sweets. She was wearing a heavenly white robe with faux fur trimming, hair neatly tied up in a high ponytail. Kermit on the other and was wearing nothing but his iconic green collar. "Kermie?" piggy piped up "Hm?" he looked down at her. "Where will vous be taking moi tomorrow?" " _Ah jeez..._ " he thought " _I forgot to find a place."_

"Uh well I was...thinking we could go to...-" Kermit paused thinking of a place "well first we'll go see a show...um go to dinner and spend the rest of the night at a hotel " Miss Piggy smiled "will there be chocolate and flowers?" she asked tossing another chocolate fruit in her mouth. "mhm" he nodded " Lots "

"will we be alone?" she asked before yawning. "Yes dear "

"Promise?"

"Promise" The frog held her close.

"Oh Mon captain moi am so pleased to hear that you have something planned moi thought you would forget again" she pecked him on his cheek. An hour later of sweet talking and wine the two negotiated to go up to their bedroom. Miss Piggy slipped off her robe to reveal some of the most casual clothes Kermit has ever seen her wear. A pair of shorts with white and pink hearts and a stormy blue Disney printed T-shirt that fit loosely on her figure. He flushed slightly than sat on the bed "We need to pack soon, we're leaving in tomorrow " He said laying down on on his side inviting her to lay next to him. She took his invitation and cuddled close to her frog. "Mhm...goodnight Kermie" piggy said sleepily and closed her eyes. Kermit kissed the top of her snout "night piggy."

The next morning Kermit drove to the Muppets boarding house. Miss piggy stayed home saying "moi does not wish for mois day to be disturbed by those freaks" that gave him a couple of hours to himself. Kermit, being the good-natured amphibian that he is, he wanted to wish the other Muppets a happy valentines day. He arrived to a heavily decorated house filled with paper hearts of all colors plastered on the wall, the usual earthy toned furniture was replaced with redwood, burgundy, white and bright reds, Cards with sweet notes were scattered about and candies in a little cute circular white bowl but Kermit knew its probably best to not take one. A bear with a necktie with pink hearts instead of the usual pink circles.

Appropriate attire for a day as such.

"Heyy Kermit!" the bear exclaimed walking to him. "Hi ho Fozzie!" Kermit said with glee "I came by to see how everyone's spending this special day." Fozzie looked behind the frog then out the front door " Where's Miss Piggy?"The frog walking to the living area where most of the Muppets were "She wanted to stay home and pack up"

Fozzie followed "you're going somewhere? where are you going?" he questioned. "well" Kermit began " I promised piggy that we would go see a show and have dinner then go to a nice hotel."

"Ah" the bear said.

"Hay Kermit! whatcha doing here?" Rowlf said on the other side of the room. Annie sue was next to him. She was an average sized pig with a cute pink panda sweater with midnight colored leggings. They were in the dining room surrounded by decorations and sweets "Oh hi Kermit!" she said happily "Oh hi Rowlf hi Annie sue! "

"I came by to see what you all were doing for valentines day?" Kermit asked. "well I was gonna treat Rowlf for a night in a hotel since he helped me overcome some personal problems...ya know in our own beds or different rooms...nothing like that" Annie sue said.

Rowlf nodded to confirm "A dog does what'a dog can to help."

"Which hotel exactly?" The frog asked. Annie sue stood from the dining table " Manson hotel."

"Ah...well that's funny...Miss Piggy and I are going to the same place"

"Ah really? does she need help with her bags?"Annie asked.

"Um...no Annie sue I don't think she needs any help" Kermit said " I'll take care of her luggage." She lowered her head a bit, not from sadness but from understanding "Okay but if she needs anything...anything at all let me know!"

"I will...so Rowlf " he said changing the topic " what are you going to do when you get to the hotel?"

The scruffy dog fixed his relaxed but bad posture " Ya know have a couple of beers, watch some TV ya know to relax and unwind while I got the chance"

Classic Rowlf.

"That sounds nice" Kermit admitted. The amphibian darted his eyes around "where's everyone else?"

"Floyd and Janice went off to a jazz club, Sam took Scooter, Walter and some chickens to the good ol' Dairy Queen down the street to show what 'real American' food tastes like...um oh! Gonzo took Camilla to a monster truck show and everyone else is keeping to themselves" the dog informed with his usual raspy voice.

The frog nodded.

Fozzie bear walked in abruptly" wow! I'm going there too! Isn't that funny?"

"Good grief " Kermit sighed " you too? is there anyone else going to the same place?" he said aloud. The air in the house was still. "Who are you talking to?" Annie sue whispered matching the silence.

"..uh n...no I...I was just talking out loud" the frog looked down to his phone...he had 20 missed calls, 4 voice messages and 13 text messages from...Miss Piggy. His phone was on silent mode...

"I should get going I...will see you guys tonight I guess" He left the house and drove back to his own.

He now has to come up with an excuse for not answering her phone calls. He arrived at the golden gate with their initials and typed in the code then drove to the driveway. He was smart enough to buy more flowers and chocolate so he wouldn't get clobbered.

He took out his keys as he walked out towards the door. As he entered the door he didn't see Miss Piggy anywhere on the first floor so he went up the spiral staircase. The next place he checked was their bedroom. Miss Piggy was sitting on her side of the bed playing something on her phone.

She was wearing a coal grey sheath dress with a dash of navy blue. She wore jet black stilettos with white opera gloves to protect her soft hands, her wavy sun-kissed hair flowed over her shoulders. Over to her face, were two smoky eyes and knee-weakening blue eyes that stood out from everything she was wearing like a sore thumb.

"Um hey..piggy I got you something" he started as he walked to her. She ignored him. "Piggy?" he asked again "I'm sorry didn't answer your calls..or text messages...heh my phone was on silent mode again"

The diva continued to play on her phone, not looking up from her device. He sighed and cautiously placed his hand on her shoulder "c'mon pi-". "AAHY!" she screamed dropped her phone getting in position to fight. Kermit backed away "Piggy It's just me!...It's just me!"

Miss Piggy took out the earbuds that were in her ears" Wha?...Kermit don't scare me like that!"

"Sorry Piggy but I got you something" He took out the chocolates and flowers from behind him and handed them to her. She stared at the gifts. He felt the tension in her eyes and gave a nervous laugh. "what's your excuse?" she asked with a demanding tone. "umm..er..silent mode? But..." he signaled to the gifts in his hand "I uh bought you your favorite chocolates." She wondered and smiled a bit and took the presents.

She set the flowers down and opened the box "chocolate truffles?"

"mhm" he nodded. She tossed one in her mouth and savored the heavenly taste

"you're forgiven."

The frog smiled "well then we should get some breakfast before we set off.

The two then went over to the kitchen to cook brunch. Miss Piggy had pancakes, an omelet and a glass of orange juice, Kermit had a blueberry muffin and a black coffee. " Do you have all your things packed piggy?" the frog asked.

The pig nodded " vous things are pack too" Kermit paused " I didn't pack anything yet piggy"

"I know moi packed for vous" she smiled sweetly after finishing her food. "That's my pig" Kermit said subconsciously.

Kermit soon loaded their bags into the trunk of the car while miss piggy took her spot in the passenger's seat. When she sat down she slipped on her sunglasses. Kermit got in "ready piggy?" he asked starting the car.

"No mon captain moi am ready" she said happily.

They set off.


	2. Chapter 2

(A.N. sorry lol i had to reupload it )

The sky turned from shades of pink, orange, purple and blue to menacing blacked blue. The two had a wonderful first-class dinner at a lovely restaurant. Kermit walked Miss Piggy out hand in hand "um Piggy there's something I need to say...something I needed to say a while ago" the frog said anxiously. Miss Piggy's heart began to flutter was he really going to do it? Was he going to propose on the most romantic day of the year?

"Yes, Mon captain?" She said sweetly, her voice calm and low just for him. They made it to his car

" Uh...before we get to the hotel there's a surprise that I don't know if you'll like or not..."

"Kermie...vous knows moi hate surprises" she said keeping her sweet tone which made all the more threatening.

He took her hand "well," He began "we will be having some guests join us...n-no join isn't the right word but... Rowlf, Fozzie and Annie sue are...coincidentally going to the same hotel...heh...I-isn't that funny?"

The divas' eyes shifted from sweet to a mild anger "What? No, that's not funny Kermit! are you serious?" Kermit ushered her into the car, so they wouldn't attract paparazzi.

"Piggy... I know I didn't expect them to be going to the same place either."

She huffed and turned her attention to the tinted window.

There was a long unwelcoming silence. "Well?" Miss Piggy said, "what are you going to do about it?"

" What am I going to do about it?" Kermit said as he started the car "Piggy I can't make them stay home I don't have control over them like that...You're Just going to have to deal with it for a day or two." The prima donna pig looked at him.

"Deal with it? Deal with it? It's not 'it' that needs to be dealt with it's you!"

Kermit sighed and drove down the street "what do you mean? What did I do now Piggy?"

She gave an Indignant look " You promised...you promised we would be alone together...and" her voice rose " and you broke that promise a...a simple little promise hah! You didn't even give yourself 24 hours! That has to be some sort of record for you right?"

Good grief he forgot his promise that quick? He was too focused on looking at the shows and dinner to worry about his little promise to her.

"Sorry Piggy, I've just been busy arranging everything, I know how you like to have things perfect and all " he said in a low apologetic tone. She was quiet, she felt a little better to blow some steam. Miss Piggy sighed in her seat and went on her phone to check her social media.

Regrettably, Kermit drove to the boarding house to pick the trio. Fozzie, Rowlf and Annie sue waited on the porch holding their luggage. The frog parked in the driveway and they walked to the trunk and packed their things. After stacking their luggage in the trunk of the car they got in the back it was a tight squeeze for Annie sue due to the amount of fur Fozzie and Rowlf had.

"Thanks for picking us up Mr. Kermit!" Annie sue said cheerfully.

"No problem Annie sue" He drove off to the hotel. Miss Piggy was still surprisingly upset even with other people in the car the atmosphere was still unwelcoming.

Five minutes passed "Hey Kermit? Um, Are you sure you know where you're going? " Fozzie asked

"Yeah yeah I know exactly where it is don't worry Fozzie" The frog said taking a left. Rowlf and Fozzie played a little boring game of I Spy, and Annie sue was listening to Miss Piggy thinking aloud to herself.

20 minutes passed

" I spy with my little eye...something," Fozzie began looking around for something he hasn't Seen "Um... I spy with my little eye something grey!"

The scruffy dog looked around "er is it outside?"

"Nope" Fozzie respond "try again"

The dog looked around and sighed "I don't know Foz," he then got sight of a thing" Miss Piggy's streak?"

"Yep! you g-"

"WHAT!" Miss Piggy pulled her hair over her shoulders and so it was a grey almost white streak of hair came from her roots to her back. "Oh heavens..." She slumped in her seat her rosy checks now matched the color of her roses in the back seat.

Kermit looked at her " Aw Piggy...it it's not that bad I mean it's barely noticeable."

She turned her face to the window "no...no it's not Kermit we need to buy some hair dye" She went on her phone to look for a store but didn't have a signal. She sighed "do you even know where you're going?"

The frog had been driving on What seemed like the same dirt covered road for the last 25 minutes "Mhm, of course, I know where it is " He lied. He always hated admitting he didn't know what to do.

The sky grew darker with stormy rain clouds, rain poured down hard like rice hitting a tin roof. Annie sue was on the brink of sleeping, Rowlf was sleeping with his head back and mouth oozing out drooling, Fozzie was staring at everywhere but outside, since he didn't really like he rain too much, Miss Piggy was still covering her streak as best as she could "Kermit just turn on the GPS moi won't hold this against vous."

"Piggy please, I told you before I know where I'm go-" The frog was cut off by a loud sputtering noise from the car that jerked forward, it had awoken everyone in the car. "Oh, good grief..." The car finally came to a halting stop in the middle of the abandon lonely road.

Rowlf stirred awake "mm mh? Are we here?"

The diva pig stared at the tank meter an at the frog next to her with a hard expression "you ran out of gas, didn't you?"

He didn't answer instead he turned the keys of the car but failed to bring it back to life. "Well gang, I got good news and bad news"

"Give us the bad news first" Rowlf said " we can take it"

"Well we're out of gas and I don't...really know where we are," The frog turned off the car "but, but the good news is that we're not in the rain!"

The three passengers had a look of blankness before Miss Piggy piped up

"He means we're lost in the middle of nowhere" and crossed her arms, no longer giving much care to her grey streak of hair.

"Piggy we are not lost, "The frog began to look for a coverup "we're just misguided is all." A drip of water dripped onto his head.

"Kermit admit it we're lost, and your dingy roof is about to cave in to some stupid rain!"

Kermit gripped the stirring wheel but didn't say anything. "Admit it!" She demanded.

He hit the middle of the stirring wheel causing the car to honk and its backseat passengers to jump" Fine Pig you were right I got us lost! Are you happy to know that I was wrong?!"

The diva eyes widened then soon looked the other direction "Much So" she said proud to be right. Almost two second after...the roof caved in and water soaked everything in its range.

"We're lost, cold, wet and have no shelter" Fozzie said as his Used to be orange fur was now a brown due to the hard rain soaking his fur.

"Uh guys?" Annie Sue said catching everyone's attention " I might be wrong but I'm pretty sure there's a house over there" the young pig pointed to a mansion-like building on the right of the car.

"I can't believe moi am saying this but good eye Annabel!" Miss Piggy said giving her the thumbs up. The gang got out of the car soaking wet and got their luggage.

Hopefully wherever they are going has a dryer.


	3. Chapter 3

Valentines Detour

Chapter 3

The gang arrived at a gated mansion like building. Grey stormy hues from the unforgiving bullets of water falling on their heads washed out all other colors. Kermit used all his little frog strength to unhinge the gate from its suppose lock.

It didn't budge. He attempted to try again but slipped on the slippery mud. Kermit grunted as he stood up with the help of Fozzie. "Stand back frog" Miss Piggy patted the frog's shoulder. The other Muppets including the frog took a step or two back. The porcine diva took a couple of deep breathes and kicked the gates wide open with one of her powerful kicks with a hii-yaa!.

The gang walked through the now opened gates to a very patchy, very wet colorless yard. Rocks were scattered around the property, statues with soulless eyes all in two lines that lead to the entrance some were lopsided and sinking into the now soft muddy soil. Dead lifeless trees with long branches that resembled a drop of midnight black ink branching out in a drop of water.

"You know what I'd rather stay in the car huh guys…w-who's with me?" The comic stammered nervously.

Rowlf and Annie sue turned back to the bear to reassure him "awe c'mon foz it's not that ba.." The dog was interrupted.

"Oh, forget about you bear moi am soaked! Let's go" Said a rough but feminine voice through the thick shade of rain. Miss Piggy took the frog-who was wiping off the cold grainy mud off of-by his shoulder to the front door. The others followed.

Now the door…oh, the door. The door of the supposed home was tall, a black-brownish color, a disturbing dragon gargoyle-like creature door knocker hung at an appropriate height near the middle, black candle porch lights glinting in the wet rain dimming out the desired lighting.

They walked onto the porch with their soaked luggage.

"…So, umm, who's gonna knock?" Rowlf asked scratching behind his ear.

There was silence till "Kermit will" the porcine diva said nudging the amphibian towards the door.

He scrunched up his face "Er…um..y-yeah" with a shaky green hand he used the door knocker which gave out deep pounding knocks. He backed up to Miss Piggy's side…for safety. A good five minutes passed before the sound of footsteps and locks unlocking. The five Muppets waited as the door opened to a murky purple beaked lady dressed in

a lilac dress the fell to her mid-calf, her hair was white with a little touch of silver and she wore magenta glasses over her steely grey eyes "Can I help you all?" She asked in a gravelly old voice.

Piggy moved Kermit in front of her as the others got behind her.

"Well, um sorry to disturb you ma'am but uh…our car broke down and we were hoping if you could take us in" Kermit said in a kind pleading tone.

The woman hesitated to look for reasons to not let them in beside them being strangers. "Well…a little company would be nice," She said trying to put on an innocent, lonely, old lady voice "You poor things must be tired."

"Yes ma'am, wet and cold!" Fozzie chimed in showing his shaggy wet arms.

"Well, what kind of person would I be if I didn't bring you poor souls in?" She gestured them in "Come in, come in."

Kermit, Annie sue, Fozzie and Rowlf followed inside.

"Hm…" Piggy thought before walking in with the others "Something about this doesn't feel right."

The interior of the home was hues of grayed out browns and blacks. Huge framed pictures of assumed family members or unknown historians lined the walls down the dark halls on each side of the wooden grand entrance staircase.

They entered the main room. Five armchairs with burgundy velvet cushions with black leather sides all faced the center of the room. Each had their own side table with one coaster, two white candles, a box and a leather book. The mysterious bird woman left the room for a moment and came back with a couple of blankets and towels "Just thought you kids would need these" She laid the towels down on the seats. They all sat down Kermit, Rowlf and Piggy all became uneasy, the seats felt like they haven't been used in some time. "pst…kerm" Rowlf whispered to the frog as the aged woman gave a blanket to Fozzie.

He turned to the pianist "Yeah?"

"Do you feel a little wheezy in these seats, or is it just me?"

Before he could respond Miss Piggy chimed in " I feel the same way Rowlfy, these chairs are so stiff."

"Oh, how rude of me," The old woman said "My name is Dolly Ernestine Annabelle Demsworth…but you all can call me Dolly"

"Okay Dolly, I'm Kermit the Frog, that's Rowlf, Fozzie, Miss Piggy-"

"His significant other" The diva added.

"Uh…r-right," The frog continued "um and Annie sue."

"It's a pleasure to meet you all, are you kids hungry? I was just preparing dinner." Dolly said walking towards the dark wine-colored French doors that lead to the kitchen.

Kermit put up his hand "Oh, you don't have to do that we're…"

"Starved!" The others said in unison.

"Oh, but piggy, didn't you just eat?"

"What did you say?"

"Never mind"

Dolly laughed an airy laugh "Dinner it is then?" The Muppets nodded in response.

"Alright dearies, I'll just be a minute you all wait here" She left and closed the door behind her.

Immediately from her departure from the room Miss Piggy got up and walked to the halls. Kermit got up "Piggy? What are you doing?"

"Exploring? What does it look like frog?" She walked around the corner.

They heard a gasp and they all got up and went after her

"Miss Piggy?"

" Piggy are you okay?"

"What happen?"

The diva was staring through a glass case on the wall "…It's… beautiful…" She said a dreamy expression on her face. They all sighed "What's beautiful piggy?" Rowlf asked.

One finger from her gloved hands pressed against the glass pointing to a pink star diamond necklace.

"Okay, uh, don't you have one that looks like that?" He asked.

"No no, what I have is a wacky quartz this, however, is the most expensive and one of the rarest jewels the world offer…I must have." She turned to the frog with those baby blues "Kerrmiee?" She said in a sing-song voice.

Kermit gulped "uh...mm"

Suddenly the sound of creaking of the wood floor, chains and crashing could be heard, but very faintly Piggy's, Rowlf's, Fozzie's and Annie's ears perked up "Uh…guys?" Kermit asked a little worried. They all shushed the frog with a 'shhh!' He scrunched up his face. The four followed their ears to where they were leading them. Rowlf walked towards to back of the staircase and noticed an entrance "Mhm…guys? I think you might want to see this." They all walked behind the staircase with Rowlf.

"A door?" Kermit said flatly. "Shh!" Miss Piggy tiptoed as quietly as she could with high heels towards the door, letting her perky ears lead her. Two feet from the door she could hear soft grunts, and footsteps. "What do you hear?" Fozzie asked taking a step closer to Piggy.

"That's just the dogs," Dolly said shattering the silence that they kept. The five friends jumped from her voice "Oh, D-Dolly," Kermit began but she dominated with her voice "Dinner is ready, I suggest you all follow me." They nodded and followed Dolly back through the main room to the dining room. On the dining table, there were five plates and five cups, a bowl of mashed potatoes, a tray of meatloaf, a blow of fluffy biscuits and a pitcher of sweet tea was centered in the middle of the long table. Everything looked and smelled so good. Once they sat down and began eating Dolly walked to a nearby window "hmm…" Kermit looked up from his plate "Something wrong Dolly?"

"Oh, it seems that the storm is worsening…you all will have to stay over no doubt," The beaked lady said closing the curtains "until this terrible weather passes."

"That's, very kind of you Dolly!" Kermit said smiling.

"It's no problem at all! As you can see I have plenty of room" She took a biscuit from the bowl " Whenever you all are done with your food just let me know and I'll gladly guide you all to your rooms."

"Mhm, we will!"

After they finished their food they went to the living room to find Dolly.

…Where is she?

A smooth deep voice filled the air " Ms. Demsworth is busy right now. My name is Griz, I will escort you all to your rooms" The Muppets turned around and there was an intimidating, tall grizzly bear. He had dark brown fur, black eyes and wore a nice black suit with no shoes.

"Oh, please do" Miss Piggy said flirtatiously, fluttering her eyelashes. Griz smiled at her a little. Kermit, on the other hand, had a typical jealous face.

They walked up the stairs to the second level then around the corner to the hall with room doors on both sides. Griz stopped at the second door "Mr. Bear this is your room, there are warm blankets on the bed for you."

Fozzie brought his stuff in the room "Ooo nice, very cozy!" He went over to the bed and they were indeed warm. The crew continued to the next room which was Rowlf's. It was dimmed lit and had its own bathroom "Mr.."

"Just call me Rowlf bud" The dog said patted Griz on the back and walked on in. Next, was Annie sue's her room was like a child's room stuffed animals were neatly put away and she loved it " Oh thank you" The young pig strolled in the room with her things. Finally, there was Kermit and Miss Piggy's room at the end of the hall. Their room was a composer of reds and browns. Before Kermit could thank Griz, he was already down the hall turning the corner.

In Fozzie's room.

The comic was drying off a bit more, getting the wetter spots of his fur.

"Gee, what a day"

The bear finished drying himself then heard…what sounded like banging on a wall.

"eh…must be Rowlf" He began to prepare for bed.

Then he heard it again….and again but this time it was coming from inside the room.

"Uh… mmm i-it's nothing"

Bang bang bang.

Fozzie jumped under the sheets of his bed "It's something! It's something!" he thought.

He heard a door opening Creeeek and began to shiver from fear.

"Fozzie" someone said.

"W-who's th-there?!" He stammered.

He could see the figure walking to the bed through the sheet.

The mysterious person took the sheet off the scared bear "Fozzie, it's me" said a cheery voice.

It was Annie sue.

She was wearing blue penguin and polar bear pajamas with her hair in a fluffy bun.

Still shivering he looked up at the figure then let out a relieved sigh "Oh, Annie! heh for a second there I-I thought you were a monster"

"Hehe, no, I'm no monster" she turned a pointed to a door in his closet "When I was looking through my room a was a little door…it was a little jammed."

"Ohh" The bear said.

"Hope I didn't wake you up"

"Oh, don't worry you didn't wake me."

"Ok, well, goodnight Fozzie" She left through the little door in his closet.

He sighed before going to bed, turning off the lamp and falling asleep.

In the room next over Rowlf was flipping through channels on a little TV box in his room while enjoying a beer he had in his suitcase.

"Nothin'…nothin'…somethin'?…nope" He sighed and turned the TV off. After finishing his beer he noticed a book on the edge of his bed.

That wasn't there before was it?

Not putting much thought into the appearance of the book, he picked it up and read the synopsis on the back.

 _Five friends struck with liquid despair after a long journey. They come upon a weary house with a weary family of three. A cunning old woman invited them in for the night, letting them stay in her home. One by one the friends experience their own scenes of horror. The house shifting itself to an endless maze leaves our characters in a loop. They attempt to leave…but will they?_

"Ohh spooky, I'll give it a read" He looked at the cover and began reading the book in bed.


End file.
